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Best Southwest Airlines Boarding & Safety Announcement One-Liners (Share Your Favorites)

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Good afternoon everyone.  I don’t know about you, but I just love flying Southwest Airlines.  And one of the many reasons why I enjoy flying Southwest Airlines is the happy attitude of the flight attendants, pilots, and crew.  Normally, after boarding a Southwest Airlines flight, I start watching free TV or listen to my music, but every now and then, I listen to the flight attendant announcements.  Here are 3 examples of funny Southwest Airlines one-liners that come to mind.

1. After all the passengers are seated and the plane begins to push back from the gate, the flight attendant comes on the speaker and says:

Attention passengers, did someone lose a wallet?  Now that I have your attention, let’s go through the safety announcements for this flight.

2. As we begin our descent into John Wayne Airport from Las Vegas, the flight attendant says:

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed our short flight from Las Vegas.  As a friendly reminder, please put your wedding rings back on.

3. Lastly, as the last few passengers walk onto the plane, the flight attendant says:

For those passengers holding a ‘C’ boarding pass, ‘C’ stands for center, so find any available center seat and be seated.

I’m sure there have been many more funny Southwest Airlines one-liners, but I can’t remember them at the moment.  If you have any funny one-liners to add, please share them in the comments.  Thank you.


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23 thoughts on “Best Southwest Airlines Boarding & Safety Announcement One-Liners (Share Your Favorites)

  1. Doug

    Two that I recall:

    Just as we start deplaning, in the deadpan-est voice: “We’re here. Get out.”

    Shortly after landing: “I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Honolulu….but I can’t. You’re now in Chicago.”

    Reply
  2. xnuiem

    Pulling into the gate, “Whoa, big fella”

    Taking a taxiway curve in AMA a bit fast, “{Screeching tire sounds}, We will beat American to Dallas”

    Reply
    1. Grant Post author

      Haha, those are both pretty funny. I had to google AMA, I didn’t know that was the airport code for Amarillo International Airport :)

      Reply
  3. Zach

    Leaving on an evening flight out of John Wayne to the East as we climb to the 10,000 ft mark where they glide until they’re over the neighborhoods: “Shhh… the rich people are sleeping.”

    Reply
  4. Steve

    The SW flight attendants are just absolutely Great! Some of these attendants should be stand up comedians! Wait, they are already! lol I can remember a crew getting a plane wide clapping ovation after the into announcements on a Seattle to Dal flight!

    Last May after a flight from Mem to Orlando which ended with a hard landing, the attendant came on an replied ” Well, we have officially HIT Orlando! Good Folks

    Reply
    1. Grant Post author

      Plane wide clapping ovation, I hope I get to experience that one day. Glad you safely hit Orlando :)

      I think I’ve heard pilots or copilots say “that was Jim’s first landing, I think he did a pretty good job.”

      Reply
  5. Robert L Miller

    After the seatbelts are lifted up. “And if you’ve ever been in a car in your life, you know how seatbelts work, so why do we keep explaining them?”

    After the oxygen mask:

    “If you are with a child or someone that is acting like a child, then first, I’m sorry, and second, secure your mask first.”

    Reply
  6. SwaFlyer

    I can’t quote it exactly, but it went something like this after we landed:
    Folks, we’ve had a special guest on this flight. Today is his 90th birthday, he’s pretty frail and nearly blind, but he just realized his lifelong dream of taking his first flight. On your way out, please say happy birthday to your pilot.

    Reply
  7. Josh

    1. Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts securely around you. If you’d wanted to be thrown around and beaten up in the back you’d have flown United…
    2. The fine for smoking in an airplane lavatory could be as much as $6,000.00, and if you wanted to spend that much you’d have bought a ticket on United…

    Reply
  8. Robert

    “The next time your travel plans call for you to be sealed inside a metal tube and be blown through the air at 600 miles an hour, remember your friends at Southwest Airlines.”

    Reply

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